Turkey Sandwich Report Fan Mail

Longtime Turkey Sandwich Report reasder, “Chris Pleimann’s Lisp” recently dropped us a line and posed an interesting question.  He writes:

I’m blowing the cover off this thing:

A bologna sandwich is better than a turkey sandwich.

I know this might come off as blasphemy to you, but I ask that you clear your mind of all preconceived notions and allegiances that you might have.  Now, don’t get me wrong. Real, true, authentic turkey that is fresh off the bone blows bologna away. And even some hi-end processed turkey might be better.
However, if you just take the run of the mill Oscar Meyer processed turkey versus Oscar Meyer bologna, and truly open up your mind, you will find that bologna tastes better as a sandwich.
I ask you to fry a couple of slice of bologna, with a simple slice of Colby cheese and place on some wonder bread and do the same exact ingredients but replace the bologna with processed turkey, I promise that you will like the bologna sandwich better.
I find processed turkey to be over-rated. I think it is a “yuppy” coldcut. Kinda like when some asshole drives a BMW instead of good ‘ol Dodge Stratus. Or when somebody goes Land Rover when a Jeep would do just fine.
Processed Turkey is an over-rated, yuppie cold cut.
What do you say?  I see a challenge in the making.